Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents

Allison Bottke
Harvest House Publishers (2008)
ISBN 9780736921350
Reviewed by Dr. Carol Hoyer for Reader Views (4/08)


Although Ms. Bottke’s theme for this book is not a new one, it is refreshing to see that she has given parents of adult children six steps on how to set boundaries.

Through the use of her own personal examples with her adult son, and examples from other parents Ms. Bottke is able to show us that through gentle mistakes we made while raising our children, we can set boundaries in their adulthood.

As a parent who has had recently two adult children move back home, I can honestly say I was ready to tear my hair out. Not that we don’t love our children or want to help them in any way, we must learn not to enable them and have them make us their slave.

This reader found the 6 Steps to Sanity to be very helpful. The steps were something you could put use to right away. Most books of this nature tell you what you should and shouldn’t do, but I always felt I was being blamed for bad parenting. I was especially impressed with learning to let your children go and identifying my own negative behavior. I was truly amazed at all I have done and still do to enable my children not to own up to their own responsibilities.

Every parent should read “Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children” and keep it within easy access. Each time one reads part of the book it helps them to take control of their life again and not feel we “owe” our children everything.

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