Forgiveness and Child Abuse: Would You Forgive?

Lois Einhorn, Ph.D.
Robert D. Reed Publishers (2006)
ISBN 9781931741699
Reviewed by Debra Gaynor for Reader Views (11/06)

Child abuse is a topic of discussion at the forefront of today’s headlines.  But in the past it was something that you did not discuss.  It was something that was hidden from the eye of others.  For too many years people turned a blind eye on both the victim and abuser.  This book forces our eyes to look directly at the issue.

This book shares the responses to the questions:  “What would YOU do?  You are a child in a family that sadistically abuses.  You are forced to torture and destroy.  What should you do now as an adult?  Do you forgive your parents?  HOW do you forgive yourself?”

This book is not for the faint hearted.  The types of abuse that are discussed sickened me.  How the author Lois lived through the abuse she describes, is beyond imagining.   The physical scars are only the beginning.  The emotional scars are even worse and take longer to heal, if they ever heal.  “How can I forgive my parents, people who tried to force me to hate myself, live in terror, and forget and/or rewrite my childhood?  Am I heartless because, I do not feel empathy for them?  In order to abuse me as they did, my parents had to stop seeing me as a human being.  Are there acts too horrific to forgive?”

It must have been painful for Lois to write this book. In the Afterword she states that she has found forgiveness. Writing this book must have helped achieve this goal. But even then I sense her questioning herself. That's just my perception, I hope I'm seeing it wrong.

Lois, you never needed forgiveness. I want you to take a good look at what you have done, given this past, and have a tidal wave of gratitude that you did not turn out like Charles Manson. You’ve done great. YOU are responsible for having done great. What happened to you was horrible and should never happen again. This is the task to make a loving world.

This book is well written and documented.  The author has poured out her heart and opened old wounds to educate the public concerning a growing epidemic of child abuse.  Many of us feel that our parents have been “mean” to us.  This is not about a mean parent, it is about parents that degrade and torture and repeatedly abuse their children.  I highly recommend this book to everyone.  Everyone should have to read this so that they will understand what abuse is and how it affects the victims.

Lois, I think you are courageous to share your story in “Forgiveness and Child Abuse.” It is my sincere hope that you truly have found forgiveness for yourself.

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