“And Now, Back to Me” by Rita Lussier

And Now, Back to Me

Rita Lussier
She Writes Press (2025)
ISBN: 978-1647427702
Reviewed by Dawn Colclasure for Reader Views (01/2026)

There are hundreds of books and articles out there about what to expect when a parent is now living with an empty nest. After the last of the children flies the coop, and the house now seems to be Just Too Quiet. The experience is different for everyone, and readers curious about this type of life change will get to read all about it in the essay collection And Now Back to Me: Stories from an Empty Nest by Rita Lussier.

When the youngest child flies the coop, two things will happen: the young adult spreading their wings will try to establish a new life for themselves that is away from home, and the parent will try to create a new life for themselves in which they are no longer responsible for their kid 24/7/365. Having an adult child living at home offers a sense of comfort that Mom is still being Mom (this reviewer has been there). But when the adult child leaves home, as painful as it is, that sense of comfort needs to be redefined. And it affects EVERYTHING in the parents’ life: marriage, community connections, career, and lifestyle. Up until then, Mom’s life centered around their child. Then suddenly, it doesn’t.

So predictably, soon after her youngest child leaves home, the author starts to worry. She worries about her marriage being affected by the empty nest, but she gets sage advice from her retired parents. Then she worries about what to do with herself. Trying to figure this out takes time. Trying to establish this new chapter of her life takes time.

When her kids are home visiting, though, she realizes that they still need her, even if they are not living at home anymore. They still need Mom. She realizes that even as the adult child and the parent are taking separate roads, there will be times the two paths will merge for brief periods. On page 40 she writes:

Here’s what they neglect to mention in the books and articles about what to expect when your youngest child goes off to college: she’ll come back. And the independent life she’s beginning to create for herself, just like the one you’re trying to create for yourself, is tenuous at best, not yet sturdy enough to withstand all the familiar cues and ingrained patterns of returning home.

Shifting gears is easy for a car. But we’re not cars. Transitions take time. Transitions laced with emotions take longer. The families we raised, the homes we created, these were built upon countless moments in which we gave what we had. And even more than that. We helped with algebra homework. We stayed up all night to nurse a child with a fever. We showed up for soccer games, tennis matches, and ballet recitals. Gradually, we became inextricably entwined in the fabric of our family as our days turned into months into years. So why wouldn’t we expect that it would take us some time and tender care to loosen the strings of all we’ve woven so tightly together?

This need for Mom is also there even when her kids are away from home, as she takes it upon herself to go to them if they can’t go to her, or if there is something wrong.

But she also realizes one of the blessings of this new chapter in her life: Time. Now she has time to enjoy things, like baking. Now she can slow down a bit. And now she can take the time to enjoy the process of her favorite activities. Lussier writes on page 55:

This particular baking day, with the cold November rain pelting hard on the rooftop, is delicious to me in many ways. With a house full of company heading our way for Thanksgiving, I’m setting aside the entire afternoon just for creating desserts.
The entire afternoon just for creating desserts!
There are empty-nest moments like this that show up as pleasant surprises if we give ourselves permission to enjoy them.

She also starts to enjoy spending more time reconnecting with her parents during this new chapter of her life. It’s good that she has this unhurried time with them, especially with what happens later in the book.

As the author and the reader discover on this journey, adjusting to life with an empty nest means finding balance between living for yourself and being there for the adult child, as well as your parents. It is a matter of finding balance. There needs to be a balance between the two things. You’re still Mom and Dad, but just “back at home” and not “at home” for the adult child. Embracing this new chapter does not mean abandoning your role as a parent, but only redefining your role as a parent. And cherishing all of the blessings this new role will have to offer.

And Now, Back to Me: Stories from an Empty Nest is a collection of essays exploring life as an empty nest parent that offers surprises, joy, and entertainment. Written so well and told with such a rich narrative, these essays will offer assurance to parents about to set out on this journey that, no matter what happens, the bond with your children will remain strong, and that you will be okay.