Telling your story: The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

By Jo-Ann Vega, award-winning author and memoirist

Crafting a memoir is a personal decision that begins a journey. Three years after I released my memoir, I continue to learn from and engage with others, including readers and reviewers. I’m sharing some of what I’ve learned and how I used that information.

Does telling your story, and we all have one, mean telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, regardless of the consequences? Whose version of the truth? What consequences?

Our stories begin with memories.

How accurate are memories?

In Why We Remember, Unlocking Memory’s Power To Hold On To What Matters, Charan Ranganath, Ph. D, distills three decades of research on memory. Among his findings: Our brains are hard-wired for survival and forgetting; memory is malleable, not always accurate, and subject to error and distortion.

How did I corroborate my memories?

With photos, documents, memorabilia, research, journal entries, and conversations with others. For example, I have a strong memory of JFK’s inauguration that I wrote about in my memoir.

JFK was sworn as President less than two weeks before my tenth birthday.  Decades later, I remember: the snowstorm the day before the inaugural; the big kid who shoved a snowball into my face for no apparent reason; roaming the streets with my father until we found the culprit; the fear I felt as my father confronted the big kid; the solemn walk back home, followed by banishment to the living room, JFK’s stirring words cascading from the black and white television— “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

After I completed the draft, I searched the National Weather Service website for the weather on the day of JFK’s inaugural. I had remembered accurately.

Why? Research indicates memories that are combined with strong emotions and happened during our youth or coming of age are likely to be stored and easily recalled. When considering what to include in your memoir and what to leave out, do due diligence to corroborate your memories. Then ask yourself more than once who you are writing to, for, and why.

Discovering my narrative arc

As I worked with the manuscript and timeline MY narrative arc revealed itself. What formed me? When was the essential architecture/scaffolding in place?  The basic outline of me was set by my late twenties. These years are the focus of my memoir. After covering them I pivoted towards life after work and parents. This became my narrative arc. My first draft clocked in at 92+k words. It had been so easy to recall vivid memories of my time as a child in the south Bronx, living in a diverse, what was then called a mixed neighborhood.

What I included

• MY memories of my childhood to paint a picture of my first decade spent in the cocoon of my colorful extended famiglia—working class immigrants and their children.
• Historical statistics, references, selected bibliography, and first-hand accounts of important historical events/changes to provide context and to corroborate the account.
• Book club discussion guide to help start conversations between families and others interested in the story of themselves, history, and ancestry.
• Dear Reader instead of a Preface to speak directly to actual readers, invite intimacy.
• Quote to introduce each chapter to set the scene for the chapter.
• Excerpts from my oeuvre [letters, poems, journal entries] to illustrate my development as a person, chronicler, writer, and poet.
• MY lived experience to, as I have in life, slowly come to terms with being me, let the story reveal itself organically.

What I left out

Cut almost 30k words. I excised interesting, first-hand historical anecdotes to meet budget realties and improve the flow of the narrative.

Selecting a title

From Gratitude [too timid], to Leaps of Faith [sounds religious], to Moments in Flight: A Memoir [perfect]. A reviewer who gave me a 5-star review didn’t like the title; thought the book was going to be the memoir of an aviatress. You never know how others will interpret your words.

All we have are moments to hold on to, make sense of.

Capturing moments in flight, seeing how they pile and line up reveals possibilities and detours, love and heartache, joy and disappointment, warts and all. I have the time, inclination, and appetite to put the pieces of my life together, know myself more fully, and use the interests, experience, and capacity I have nurtured the past decades to leave a trail for others to experience, learn from, and build on. [Moments in Flight, p. II]

Summing up: Telling your story: What to include and leave out

1. Do due diligence to corroborate your memories. Do not rely primarily on your memories.
2. Review your goals on a regular basis, i.e., who you are writing to, for, and why.
3. Cut anecdotes that are repetitive, slow down the narrative, or don’t align with your narrative arc.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

JoAnn Vega’s debut poetry collection, Wolf Woman & Other Poems, received the Bronze Medal in the Poetry category in Reader Views Reviewer’s Choice Awards, 2022-2023.

Published author with extensive experience preparing business documents, correspondence, proposals, and designing/delivering presentations to business, academic, and community groups. Twenty years of experience as an adjunct professor.

I invite readers to visit my author websites 
www.outskirtspress.com/wolfwoman and www.outskirtspress.com/momentsinflight
and send queries to mezzo148st@gmail.com