When Heeding Feedback, Don’t Lose Your Story

Not all feedback deserves a rewrite. Caitlin Buhr shares the hard-won lessons she learned while querying agents for her debut novel, from knowing when criticism can make your story stronger to recognizing when it’s time to nod politely and move on. If you’ve ever wondered which notes to take and which to toss, this one’s for you.

When I was sending queries to agents and indie presses for my first novel (which was eventually published by the hybrid Atmosphere Press), I was lucky to receive brief feedback from a few agents and editors who read the first pages of the manuscript.

One of the hardest things about showing your manuscript to the world is figuring out which feedback is helpful and which is not. Agents and acquisition editors are experts in many areas of the publishing world, but that doesn’t mean they’re always right. It is crucial that you keep your voice and stay true to your story when you receive feedback, whether from an agent or a friend.

An agent who I felt was a particularly good fit to represent my book sent me a kind email after reading the first 100 pages that said something along the lines of: “This is a very compelling story, and you have a unique voice, but the writing isn’t quite strong enough for me to represent.”

Of course, this feedback flogged my ego at first. But it also reminded me that the constant along this writing journey is getting better at writing, which never stops. I don’t have a writing degree. At that point, I’d written several essays, an article published in an education journal, and a political and historical work of nonfiction, but this was my first novel. I know I’m a good writer. But I’m definitely not a great writer–yet! I have many years of writing ahead of me. That’s many years of growth.

Another piece of feedback I received after sending over a partial manuscript: “I enjoyed reading these pages but I wasn’t as passionate about the story as I know I need to be in order to sell the manuscript to a publisher.” This feedback was great because it helped me understand agents better. They will not represent what they know they cannot sell. Unless I want to change the fundamental elements of my story, and therefore write a story for the sole purpose of eventually selling it, there’s nothing I can do about this feedback except keep looking for the perfect agent or press for my book.

The most helpful feedback I received from this process was, “I didn’t feel enough empathy for and connection to your protagonist.” Wow–that’s a huge problem! I asked my husband and my dad, who had both read my manuscript, what they thought of this response. They both actually agreed with the feedback (they don’t agree about a lot of things, but their takes on my novel seem to line up), and the three of us discussed what to do about it. We settled on expanding a flashback and moving it to an earlier chapter in the book, because this particular flashback provides more insight into why my protagonist acts like a jerk sometimes.

Here’s some major feedback I chose to ignore. One agent told me that my manuscript’s many references to drug and alcohol use come across as “juvenile.” That irked me. I sure wish that drug and alcohol use was something people grew out of, but it’s…obviously not. And substance abuse–how it intertwines with mental illness, how it affects everyone around the user–is a huge element of my plot. I sat with this comment for a day before letting go and moving on.

When you take the leap and pitch or query what you’ve written, listen to feedback. If you want to make the story as strong as possible, you have to put aside your ego and get back to work. But never forget that you, the writer, should know what your story is. If you’re easily swayed by feedback to change the core elements of your story, then maybe you don’t.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Caitlin Buhr‘s novel A Sister Ago–about grief, addiction, and new beginnings–was published by Atmosphere Press in 2024. Her short story, “A Third Chance,” was published in Persephone Literary Magazine‘s January 2026 issue. Caitlin is making the final edits of her second novel, a work of speculative fiction about the United States splitting into two separate countries. She lives in Madison, Wisconsin.

CONNECT WITH CAITLIN BUHR

Website: http://caitlinbuhrbooks.com/
Substack: https://substack.com/@caitlinbuhr

A SISTER AGO

After Christine’s younger sister passed away suddenly last year, she closed off that chapter, having navigated through the stages of grief. Focused on her role at a Seattle-based social services nonprofit, she prefers not to dwell on the painful past.

However, her routine takes an unexpected turn when Keji, a grad student, reaches out with unsettling news. Walter, the eerie therapist Christine consulted a few times, is gossiping about her and has even shared her phone number with Keji.

As Christine and Keji delve deeper, they uncover a disturbing connection beyond Walter. Keji’s family has also experienced a tragedy, raising questions about the strange coincidence that brought them together. Could there be a reason behind Walter’s actions, linking the sorrows they’ve both endured?

In a narrative intertwining loss, friendship, and the challenges of modern adulthood, Christine grapples with unraveling the mystery surrounding her sister’s demise. A Sister Ago serves as a poignant reminder that no family is truly “normal,” each harboring its unique complexities. Will Christine confront her past or continue evading the inevitable?

Order A Sister Ago: Bookshop.org Amazon